Forever
by Dawnandspike4eva
Summary: A Sequel to "Buried A Lie." -Spike. Perfect. Undeniable. Unattainable. It seemed their relationship had become something she never expected. After she died, and the scoobies brought her back, he was there. Spike was there to catch her, to enslave her.


Lips. Barriers to words so often left unspoken. It seemed it was easier to hold back from telling the truth, because the truth could not possibly set you free. Not when the truth was a revelation of love. Of devotion so deep it crippled your very existence. No one wants to open themselves up and feel the undesirable sting of rejection. No one wants to have to take that chance. Sometimes holding it inside was worse than feeling the rejection, but even harder to push yourself to speak those words.

Death. Usually experienced and unremembered. Unless you were a Summers women. It seemed they could not live without experiencing death, without living inside it's grasp. Not as if death took them completely, they always seemed to come back. Seemed to defy nature, defy everything that was real and natural. It was their destiny to be something beyond normal. Normalcy was almost completely impossible. Happiness was almost more impossible. Days faded and collided into one another. Being a Summer's women was probably one of the hardest and most burdened realities anyone could face. And there were only two women in the world left to face it.

Dawn sat at the bar, ordering drink after drink with her fake idea. It was easier to be numb easier to allow yourself to fall into a drunken coma. Her life had become something she had never expected, definitely not what she had wanted. Every guy at the bar was fixated on her beauty. Her long dark hair and sparkling blue eyes, among other perfections, she was the object of many affections. But none of that seemed to matter.

"Trying to drink away reality, love." She could feel breathing on her neck, as she heard the deep, English accent in her ear.

"Hoping to." She answered dryly. Fact was she could never seem to completely numb the pain. There was not enough alcohol in the world to spring that affect.

"I'll have a shot of tequila." The bleach blonde shouted to the bartender as he sat down next to Dawn.

Dawn looked up at her tormenter. Spike. Perfect. Undeniable. Unattainable. It seemed their relationship had become something she never expected. After she died, and the scoobies brought her back, he was there. Spike was there to catch her, to enslave her. When she felt numb, when she felt empty, he was there. When she was afraid and alone, he was there. When no one else was, he was there. And so she was burdened with what they had done, forever.

"Why so glum, pet?" Spike asked as he quickly downed the shot without hesitation. It seemed he never understood, never realized what was going on around him. For someone who was so observant, so intelligent. He really did not understand women at all.

"I guess it just makes more sense." She shrugged as she downed the rest of her drink.

"More sense than what?" He asked confusion painted across his strong, pale, face.

"Being happy." Her eyes were blank as she stared at something unseen.

"It's overrated." Spike answered matter-of-factly. "Ready to go pet?" He asked as if it were nothing. As if it were to be expected that she would spend the night with him. Because even when she fought it, he always won.

"Why not." She answered sardonically as she stood up. "Lead the way." She answered with a sigh.

"Alright." Spike breathed, he walked in front of her out the front door of the bar and into the cold air.

Dawn followed a sullen look on her face. She breathed in the night air, it was harsh and cold. She watched as Spike grabbed a cigarette and lit it quickly. He seemed so sure of himself, of everything. She yearned for that confidence, and yearned to be far away from his. Yearned for freedom that would never come. Because the person she loved the most, hated her. Or so it seemed, he tortured her slowly, made life miserable. Maybe it was because she was the slayers little sister. The slayer, Buffy, the only one who ever really mattered to Spike. And she had torn him apart before, now he was dong the same thing to her sister. The best revenge.

They arrived at his crypt, the place he resided. It felt strange coming here, felt strange that this was where he lived. But she knew it was normal, normal for him. For what he was. She followed him inside almost as if she were a robot. Following steps that he had written for her. Dawn just stood there, no need to move, it only made things harder.

"Want something to drink?" Spike asked, almost as if he had not seen her drinking half the bar earlier.

"No." She shook her head. It was not necessary, she was already drunk. But she was used to it by now.

"What the bloody hell is with you tonight?" Spike asked grabbing a bottle of tequila and taking a swig.

"Nothing." She shrugged and sat down on the edge of his bed. One acquired for her, the one thing he did for her.

Spike strode over to her, he placed the bottle on the table next to the bed. He leaned over her frail body slowly. The smell of his skin made her shiver, the attraction she felt, was insatiable. But she wished she could refuse him, because it tore her apart every time it seemed like he didn't care. She loved him more than imaginably possible, and he was using her. Using her to quench the loneliness, using her to hurt her sister. So far all he had done was kill Dawn, slowly but surely.

He crushed her mouth with his, always rough, never affectionate. Dawn returned the kiss, returned every motion. Knew how to let go, let go of emotions, just feel him. She knew how to shut down, how to experience nothing but what they did together. It didn't make sense, the only time she could forget about him, was when they were entangled in one another. When it was all about sweat, and moans, and nothing else.

Dawn woke up, next to him as usual. She could hear him breathing, even though he did not have to. She sat up covering her chest with the bed sheet. She still did not feel comfortable enough in front of him. Ashamed. She felt as if he would judge her. As if she was always being compared to Buffy. And falling short.

"Morning pet." Spike spoke as he puffed on the usual cigarette.

"Good morning." She attempted a wry smile, but it faded quickly. This was all they had. Passionate nights, and silent mornings. Ones where he tried to pretend that this was normal, where she tried to pretend she did not love him. "I have to go." Her bottom lip quivered slightly. It seemed like every single second of her life was spent pretending, holding in the tears. She lived in agony because she was always fighting the pain. Every second her chest felt like it was caving in.

"See you tonight." He spoke as if he already knew the answer. As if no matter what, he would see her, because she was _his_.

"I don't know." She turned away so that she was not facing him. Something inside her knew what she was doing would not last, knew that she would cave. But she was fighting now and it hurt like hell.

"What do you mean?" Spike asked confused, she always confused him.

"I don't think we should do this anymore." Dawn answered holding back the tears that seemed to be lodged in her throat. "I need some space." Her lips were quivering, her hands were shaking, she choked back the pain.

"Dawn?" Spike seemed so lost, he was certainly not expecting this. "Your joking right?" He moved closer.

"No." She answered quickly as she began to throw her clothes back on.

"You don't mean it." Spike spoke following her around, accept he decided not to get dressed as he did this. He grabbed a hold of her shoulders.

"I do." She breathed in deeply looking up at him. "I've felt this way for some time now, and it's time I move on." She nodded. How she was not crying she would never know. But there was still water in her eyes.

"Dawn…" Spike could barely speak. Normally, he did not have a trouble speaking but now he could not seem to find the words to say.

"I have to go." She sighed, trying to ignore all the feelings building inside. She had tried this before but this time it seemed real. For a second it lasted.

"No." Spike pulled her into his naked body. "You aren't going anywhere pet." He enveloped her mouth with his once more. He tossed her onto the bed quickly, because this was how he kept her. How he kept her here, how he never let her go. She just wanted him to let her go. To let her give up. But she had now, had given up the fighting. She was his, always was. There was no escape. She might try again, but there was no point. She would always end up giving in. Because she loved him, hated what they had together, but loved him. "You want this too much to let it go." He hissed as he ran his tongue along her skin. "Your mine." He looked up at her with a sly smile on his stunning features.

"Why?" She asked looking up at the large figure towering above her. "I mean what you want with me?" She asked pained.

"Pet, I think you know what I want with you." He smiled an evil look in his eyes as he pressed against her.

"No, I mean, why me?" Dawn whined. "After all I have been through. You couldn't choose someone else to torment?" She was almost pleading now, begging him. To choose someone else.

"Torment?" Spike looked at her. "You know I don't understand you at all." Spike hissed pulling away, for once. "You come here, you practically beg me half the time, and then your breaking up with me the next day. Dawn you make no sense. What do you want?" He growled.

"It doesn't matter what I want." Dawn shook her head. It didn't matter because no one around her really cared. And she would never really get what she wanted.

"It does!" Spike shouted. "Damn it Dawn," he sounded frustrated. "All that has ever mattered is what you want. That night when you came here, you said you wanted this. Now you ask me why I chose you. You chose me." His voice rang throughout the room. He was right, and yet again she was wrong. "What the bloody hell do you want!?!?" He was shouting now. Shaking her vigorously. He was so flustered, she had never seen him this way.

"You!" Tears were streaming down her face now. She couldn't hold them in, she couldn't fight the truth anymore.

"Dawn…" He gasped. "When will you realize. You're the one who has been cold. You're the one who wont let ME in!" Spike seemed weak now. Weaker than he had ever been before.

"But-" She looked confused. "I thought that this didn't meant anything to you." She wrinkled her forehead.

"Dawn you mean everything to me." He shook his head. "How can you not see that?" Spike asked looking at Dawn.

"I guess. I thought you would rather Buffy." He voice quivered. Because it was always Buffy. The slayer, the one they all adored. The one who had saved them all countless times, saved the world. Dawn had only saved the world once. But it seemed none of that mattered. Because she was not Buffy. Never would be.

"No. I would rather you. Only you." Spike admitted finally.

"Forever?" She asked as he cupped her face with his hands.

"I have forever to give." He answered half smiling.

"Then give it to me." Dawn looked up at him, in love. He knew what she was asking. He just did not realize that she wanted this. Wanted to honestly be with him for an eternity. No one wanted him for that long. They all seemed to tire of him quickly.

But Dawn wanted this. Wanted forever. Wanted an escape. Escape from reality. She was the one causing the rift between them. She was afraid he wouldn't really love her. That he wanted her sister. And now she was not about to let go of what he was telling her. She was going to grasp hold of it any way she could.

"Pet, you don't know what your asking." He shook his head. He couldn't take her future from her. He knew someday she would want to leave him.

"Yes I do." She sounded so sure. Yet so innocent. "I want this."

"Love, soon enough you'll be going to college, you'll find a nice perfect bloke to settle down with." Spike tried not to allow the pain to show in his voice. He was good at hiding the truth.

"Spike, the only person I could ever be with, is you." She admitted shyly. She was being honest now. He was her only option. He was the only one who made her weak, who made her strong. The only one who changed he life no matter what. He was there when no one else was. He was her everything. There was no changing that fact. Because it was a fact.

"Are you sure?" He asked. He was almost afraid to ask. Afraid she would say 'no'. Afraid she would come to her sense and realize he was nothing. That he was 'beneath her'.

"Yes." She spoke a stillness in her voice that filled the room. "I love you."

"I love you, Dawn." He smiled. "Forever."


End file.
